Hanging Up the Cape

I started this post months and months ago in between things breaking, bloody screams and the eery silence that we as mom's know is a sign that children are up to no good. It's short but it's kind of my journey that I've been going through all year.
I know I'm not the only woman in the world who feels this tremendous pressure from society to be everything. They pressure us to be the ideal woman of Martha Stewart, Jillian Michaels, Julia Child and Marilyn Monroe all rolled into one. Honestly, how could you not be beat down before you can even get going? I know I was. But let's be honest- none of those ladies are or were all of those things. I know I've written before about us all having our strengths whether it be home, fitness, cooking etc, but I believe that is only part of it. There is still that part about knowing and believing that superwoman does not exist.

I struggled and struggled after Olivia was born that I could not be everything. It took awhile but one day I let go to the expectation to be superwoman. It wasn't an exact defining moment but slowly over time I learned to let more and more go. When I talk about letting go it can be anything. I had to let go of everything. Even the little things. It even required giving up activities that I really did enjoy doing, but everything piled up on each other was just too much. Little things like having the perfect little outfits- ok so Dan didn't put her in the tights I wanted her in, we're not going to die. Gwen wants to wear crocs with her dress? ::breathe:: it's all going to be ok. It's just not worth arguing or getting upset about. I wanted to be able to do everything I could with just Gwen, plus new things I wanted to do or was asked of me to do-but with a baby. And it was too much for me. As I'm writing this I realized it wasn't just having to "let go" of things, I also had to give up having control of everything. Whew. It just got real in here. It was letting go of: control, what I thought people's expectations or opinions of me, and pride. I had to start trusting. Agh, hard for me- I had to trust my husband and others with some of the decisions. Because I.can't.control.everything. Even though I'd like to :) And I have found after giving up control and activities I truly am happier, I don't have the stress and I'm not in the constant anxious state of trying to hold everything together. Martha just makes everything look so darn easy!

I also have finally accepted that there are "seasons" in our lives, for everyone and not just moms. There are lots of things that I love and want to do but for right now it's not the time. But that doesn't mean you can't do certain things in different seasons. Because we are all different people some people are capable of doing things we are not. Sally and I might be in the same season of life but she may be able to juggle a whole different set of activities than I can. It also goes hand in hand with priorities, which are specific to you and where you want them in your life.

I guess what I'm saying is: don't judge, don't compare. Please don't waste your time beating yourself up because you are doing more or less than Sally. Find what is right for you and for your family. Slow down. And take account for what is important to: YOU!
So after a year of life changes with the new munchkin, I can say she has literally changed my life for the better. I decided to hang up my superwoman "cape" with which I thought I could do everything. I realized I don't have to do everything now and not everything is for where I/we are as a family. I want other women to feel the freedom that I have found in being content.