Little Defiance
This morning I have been questioning myself as to whether I misspelled Gwen's middle name "Defiance" instead of Isabel on her birth certificate. I tell you what, this has been a hard morning. Between the little one being brought to me at the butt crack of dawn and the attitude that accompanied it, I am ready to restart the day.
I am not exaggerating when I say that Gwen has been in her room ALL morning. Not by her choice, of course but she is determined that she can beat me. Which I hate to disappoint her but...she.will.not.win. If for no other reason I will not lose a battle of the wills to a two year old. Geez, that almost made me cry, she's not even two yet. I have a long road ahead of me.
So here's the story. I put Gwen in her room for her "room time" this morning which went totally fine other than she completely trashed her room. Pulled diapers and all kinds of stuff out of cupboards, toys everywhere, you get the picture. After room time we ate breakfast then I decided today we'd start potty training. That literally didn't even last 5 minutes. Another story for another day. We then go to her room to get dressed...blah blah blah. Then I tell her she needs to clean her room and she has to stay in her room until she has picked everything up. I can't tell how many times she has cleaned her room, but apparently today wasn't going to be one of them. And so it began... She was fine for about 30-40 minutes just chilling in there trashing her room some more. Then she decides she wants to come out. That starts with her hanging on the doorway looking at me, then sitting on the very edge of her room, then putting one foot out of the door...you get the idea. Then she decides to get bold...two feet out the door. I then go in there and sit her down to talk to her, but she has to look in my eyes when I talk to her. (Which to her, is the biggest punishment of all.) So we sit there doing a dance back and forth of whose going to break down first, during which I guess she assumed today was free game and suddenly hitting is ok today too. Anyways, guess who won...she finally looked at me I told her hitting is not ok, she needed to clean her room to leave and if she left before her room was clean she was going to time out. She said "yes" she understood. I was like "ok, we'll see."
30 seconds later as I'm folding laundry in my room I hear pitter patter of little feet. I look out and Gwen is taking off down the hallway. I get her and put her in "time out" aka: her crib. Wah, wah, wah, a few minutes later I go to check on her she pushes me away and won't look at me so I said "ok, well you're not ready". Couple minutes later, same thing. Couple minutes later, "you ready to listen to mama?" quickly she answers "no". At least she's honest I guess :) But you get the idea this continues for probably an hour, it ending in her falling asleep. She is napping now so we'll see how it goes when she wakes up. Total she has been in her room from about 8:30 and fell asleep at noon. Exhausting, and I haven't even really done anything.
Lord, give me the grace and the patience. I don't know if this has anything to do with me missing prayers the last two nights with her. I usually pray for the Lord to give her a teachable and moldable spirit and to give me the patience and the wisdom to teach her.
For those of you wondering about my disciplining method I just started the approach of talking to her, forcing her to look and me to break that defiant spirit and have had great results the last couple weeks. It's incredible how young they are to choose to be so completely contrary. Gwen will do everything in her power not to look at me. Scream, stare at the ceiling, physically fight me, hug me or give me a kiss thinking she'll get out of it. It literally blows my mind. She has to look in my eyes while I talk to her. That's it. Easiest punishment I've ever heard of, and she cannot stand it. I don't know if this is a dip in the road or if she's seeing if she can break me. We had been spanking her and I was reading a new parenting book I got and one lady had asked, "I can spank my toddler over and over again for the same thing and they continue to do it." Then the author said "well obviously spanking isn't working". "Why have you decided to use spanking as your source of discipline?" and she replied "that's all she knew, and that's what worked for her other kids". It was like a light bulb went off in my head. That's all I knew to do, and it is completely obvious it isn't working for me either. What is it, the definition of insanity is: doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. So I'm trying to find an effective disciplining method for Gwen. This may not be it, but we're working on it. And unfortunately none of these same methods may work for Olivia because she will be a completely different person and respond differently. It's tiring and exhausting but I keep telling myself it will totally be worth it. Having an obedient and compliant child is one of the best feelings in the world.
I am off to take a nap. I'm hoping that a shower and a nap will hopefully turn my world straight again. I hope reading this you can either make you laugh, or feel like you're not alone. Happy toddler-hood to all you in the same boat.
I am not exaggerating when I say that Gwen has been in her room ALL morning. Not by her choice, of course but she is determined that she can beat me. Which I hate to disappoint her but...she.will.not.win. If for no other reason I will not lose a battle of the wills to a two year old. Geez, that almost made me cry, she's not even two yet. I have a long road ahead of me.
So here's the story. I put Gwen in her room for her "room time" this morning which went totally fine other than she completely trashed her room. Pulled diapers and all kinds of stuff out of cupboards, toys everywhere, you get the picture. After room time we ate breakfast then I decided today we'd start potty training. That literally didn't even last 5 minutes. Another story for another day. We then go to her room to get dressed...blah blah blah. Then I tell her she needs to clean her room and she has to stay in her room until she has picked everything up. I can't tell how many times she has cleaned her room, but apparently today wasn't going to be one of them. And so it began... She was fine for about 30-40 minutes just chilling in there trashing her room some more. Then she decides she wants to come out. That starts with her hanging on the doorway looking at me, then sitting on the very edge of her room, then putting one foot out of the door...you get the idea. Then she decides to get bold...two feet out the door. I then go in there and sit her down to talk to her, but she has to look in my eyes when I talk to her. (Which to her, is the biggest punishment of all.) So we sit there doing a dance back and forth of whose going to break down first, during which I guess she assumed today was free game and suddenly hitting is ok today too. Anyways, guess who won...she finally looked at me I told her hitting is not ok, she needed to clean her room to leave and if she left before her room was clean she was going to time out. She said "yes" she understood. I was like "ok, we'll see."
30 seconds later as I'm folding laundry in my room I hear pitter patter of little feet. I look out and Gwen is taking off down the hallway. I get her and put her in "time out" aka: her crib. Wah, wah, wah, a few minutes later I go to check on her she pushes me away and won't look at me so I said "ok, well you're not ready". Couple minutes later, same thing. Couple minutes later, "you ready to listen to mama?" quickly she answers "no". At least she's honest I guess :) But you get the idea this continues for probably an hour, it ending in her falling asleep. She is napping now so we'll see how it goes when she wakes up. Total she has been in her room from about 8:30 and fell asleep at noon. Exhausting, and I haven't even really done anything.
Lord, give me the grace and the patience. I don't know if this has anything to do with me missing prayers the last two nights with her. I usually pray for the Lord to give her a teachable and moldable spirit and to give me the patience and the wisdom to teach her.
For those of you wondering about my disciplining method I just started the approach of talking to her, forcing her to look and me to break that defiant spirit and have had great results the last couple weeks. It's incredible how young they are to choose to be so completely contrary. Gwen will do everything in her power not to look at me. Scream, stare at the ceiling, physically fight me, hug me or give me a kiss thinking she'll get out of it. It literally blows my mind. She has to look in my eyes while I talk to her. That's it. Easiest punishment I've ever heard of, and she cannot stand it. I don't know if this is a dip in the road or if she's seeing if she can break me. We had been spanking her and I was reading a new parenting book I got and one lady had asked, "I can spank my toddler over and over again for the same thing and they continue to do it." Then the author said "well obviously spanking isn't working". "Why have you decided to use spanking as your source of discipline?" and she replied "that's all she knew, and that's what worked for her other kids". It was like a light bulb went off in my head. That's all I knew to do, and it is completely obvious it isn't working for me either. What is it, the definition of insanity is: doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. So I'm trying to find an effective disciplining method for Gwen. This may not be it, but we're working on it. And unfortunately none of these same methods may work for Olivia because she will be a completely different person and respond differently. It's tiring and exhausting but I keep telling myself it will totally be worth it. Having an obedient and compliant child is one of the best feelings in the world.
I am off to take a nap. I'm hoping that a shower and a nap will hopefully turn my world straight again. I hope reading this you can either make you laugh, or feel like you're not alone. Happy toddler-hood to all you in the same boat.
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